The Kate Effect

True Story

Today.
9:15am from the mouth of Kate:

"I hate being an only child, There is no one to help me clean up. Your the meanest mom ever! I can't believe your making me clean up EVERYTHING!"

4:30pm
from the mouth of Kate while playing with friends on the front lawn:

"My mom said that when she was in Africa she climbed to the top of the highest tree and walked on a rope bridge. She could even see monkeys swinging in the treetops."

"That is awesome!" - neighbor kid.

"Yeah, my mom's the coolest mom ever." - kate.

I am THE meanest - coolest mom ever. True Story.

Foster/Adopt Shower: Gifts

My best friend is throwing a Foster Adopt Shower for us! I am so overwhelmed by the amount of support and encouragement surrounding our decision to adopt via domestic foster care. It's truly amazing. 

Since foster/adopt showers are not as common and each family handles the foster/adoption process a little differently I have been fielding a lot of questions on what to bring and why. I thought a post might be a great way to talk about what we need and why.

Please keep in mind that not every family goes through the process exactly the same way. There are a few different routes you can take when you are getting licensed for foster care. Foster, Foster-Adopt, Adopt Only, Respite, and Safe Host are just a few of the roles in foster care. I hope to write up a post soon with more info on each of these terms and what those roles mean. For the purpose of this post we will refer to Foster/Adopt.

Brad and I currently plan to Foster-Adopt. This means that we will receive children who have been removed from their home for various reasons and we will provide a stable family environment and care for these children. Our hope is to adopt the kids we foster if reunification with their biological family is no longer an option. 

Our licensing will be for children 0-6 years of age and we are hoping for siblings (2). 

How does this translate to shower gifts?

Right now we are finishing up our foster care classes and inspections. Next comes the home-study. During the home-study they will be looking at our home/family and the level of care we are ready to provide....Do we have beds & linens, towels, dressers and age appropriate toys? 

Even though we do not know the specific children that may come to us, we need to show that we are prepared to receive kids. 

I have been told on multiple occasions that when placement happens, it happens fast. Placements occur usually in the evening after 5pm. The court dictates removal in the morning, paperwork and removal happens, calls to foster families happen and more paperwork, and then placement happens. 

At this point we may or may not have a few hours to prepare for the kids arrival. The goal is to have a few days worth of items available so that Brad and I are not running to store constantly. The kids also may arrive with few of their own belongings. 

Our plan is to stock up on some basics: 1 pkg of underwear, pajamas, socks, and 2 outfits in each size for each gender. This is reflected in our Target List.  

The kids will grow into bigger sizes or we will exchange them for the right size after their arrival. Have no fear, I am positive every item will get used and play a vital role!

I also would like to have Pull-ups and a few diapers on hand. Some days I think "There's no way I will end up with a tiny baby."  Other days I my gut instinct is to raid Babies-R-Us. During training this week one of our instructors mentioned a placement she made a few days earlier for a 22 day old infant.  DAYS not weeks. So, there really is no knowing what our placement might be.

Another thing I have to keep in the back of my mind is the fact that our first placement may not be the kids we will eventually adopt. It's hard to wrap our brains around it at times but this is a very real possibility. Despite this reality, we will love them and care for these kiddos in the same manner: WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Whether the children are reunited with their biological parents or taken in by a relative, we will rejoice in God's plan and be thankful for our part in it. 

Here are somethings on my list:

Boys Underwear (2T,3T,4T,5T,6)

Girls Underwear (2T,3T,4T,5T,6)

Boys Socks  (9m, 12m, 18m, 2T,3T,4T,5T,6)

Girls Socks  (9m, 12m, 18m, 2T,3T,4T,5T,6)

Boys Pajamas (9m, 12m, 18m, 2T,3T,4T,5T,6)

GIrls Pajamas (9m, 12m, 18m, 2T,3T,4T,5T,6)

Boys Clothes (9m, 12m, 18m, 2T,3T,4T,5T,6)

Girls Clothes (9m, 12m, 18m, 2T,3T,4T,5T,6)

Potty Chair 

Pack & Play

Trucks & Cars

Diapers in various sizes

Wipes (lots! great no matter the age)

Mattress covers (twin, full, baby bed, toddler bed) *required

Booster seat (for the table)

baby swing/bouncer

4 Pillows (standard size for sleeping)

3 sets of Towels

Most of these items and MUCH MORE are registered for at Target: 

http://www.target.com/ot/list/ksufTl8uPdwjt7rf90Lxpw

I hope this will help you in your shopping - and more importantly build better understanding of foster care! I am so thankful to have so many wonderful family and friends who are so intentional in their generousity. THANK YOU!

 

 

 

 

spring is here.

the making of a family photo.

i have a giant 'to do' list right now. 90% of those items are focused on meeting our Foster care requirements for licensing and at the top of the list is....a family photo.

i dreaded this above all other tasks. it is so hard to get a family photo of us... or at least on that looks traditional and with everyone facing the right direction.... smiling is not even required.

it sounds like an easy task. you would think a photographer would be able to photograph her only family. in reality its almost painful how hard it is to get a photos of us that really reflects us. 

someone actually said to me, "You have a really nice camera, it shouldn't be that hard to get a picture."

I wont get into who off-base this statement is in this post - but just so you know, cameras do not take photos people do. photographers. photographers who frame the photo and use the lighting and engage the subject and create a feeling. cameras are a tool. a piece of equipment. my camera is very nice. i love my camera, but I am the one who takes the photo. I wield my weapon - it does not wield me.

ok, back to my family photos. I had a few people here and there take a picture of us - just hoping one would be cute and simple and I could mark it of the list.  none of them work for what we needed. (*and yes, they used my "nice" camera) 

so now it's Saturday morning and I am bribing my family to brush their hair and work with me to get a photo NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES! 

we ended up stacking books up and placing the "nice" camera on the stack. then we wedged hand towels under the lens to get just the right angle. obviously brad and kate were board while I dialed in the settings - but they were very good at being patient. I was not being patient and pretty convinced this was not going to work. 

Couple of shots of Brad and Kate - then a couple of shots of Kate and I clicked by Brad. A little photoshop magic and viola' - finally a family photo that works. 

why do I think it works? because I can see my cheeky smile that I am giving Brad who is totally making fun of me while he snaps the photo - and Brads face is relaxed and not glaring at the person taking the photo. And Kate is.... looking at me. this is HUGE. she is really looking at the person taking the photo instead of staring into the oblivion...which usually happens if she is not totally egaged in the person behind the camera. After all its hard to be engaged with a camera - even if it is a "nice" camera.

bottomline: we have a current family photo to turn in. hooray.

the rest of this seems like a breeze now that that's over.

The Goat Farm

Last summer I met this crazy fun mom and we have become great friends. It's been such a wonderful experience to teach each other's kids in our co-op and swap our kids out over the last year. 

One day she texted us "My dad has baby goats, do wanna come with us and see them?"  We said YES, of course.

I knew that her family spent most of their weekend on her dads farm and that they had goats, but I had no idea just how many goats.  In just one pen there were 40 mamma goats and their 40 babies. And the barn had a bout 3 or 4  large pens!  There were goats everywhere. 

The kids got to climb right in and cuddle the goats. Can you tell Kate's in heaven? 

 

I am so thankful for this fantastic opportunity - It was such a rich experience for Kate to enjoy. Hands on learning. Exploring at her own pace, with the freedom to linger - which is exactly what we did. We just lingered for a few hours. It obvious that Kate enjoys being with these animals. I guess it's only a matter of time until were in 4H. 

 

7th Birthday: Surprise Party

This year I opted for not having a big birthday shin-dig. Kate chose to go to the carnival with family and our days were packed with youth and other events that were boxing us in. Then the unfortunate happened. the carnival left town a day or two earlier than the on-line schedule said it would. 

devastation.

We already had plans for halloween with the youth kids and Kate was getting the short end of the stick all around. I felt awful. 

Our little home-school gang had a little halloween costume party already planned and when I told the host (who is also my best friend) she immediately responded with "lets make it a surprise birthday party!!"  At first I said that I didn't want to impose but she then begged me. So we hijacked the costume party and made it a surprise party. 

We were running late to the party and Kate knew it. She was not happy we arrived late. She stood at the door and looked angrily at me and whispered, "See mom, people are already here!!" as she rang the doorbell.

Then she heard the scrambling and hushed voices spreading the news "she's here!" Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened and she she gasped. You must know that Kate has always asked for a surprise party. She wanted last year to plan her own surprise party but then for me to actually throw the party at a surprise time - so she wouldn't know it was happening. 

Here she stood and it was really happening. 

They opened the door and yelled surprise and threw homemade confetti and it was perfect. She did struggle a little bit with her flight instinct - Smiling big and then turning to run away and then frowning alittle and turning back shyly to her waiting guests - and then giggling. It's hard as a mom to know what to do and when to step in. When to push her and when to let her conquer it all little by painful little. She did great and I held my breathe and watched. All the emotions happened so quickly that many of the guests would not notice but I saw her internal war. This is exactly what she wanted and yet this is also how mom said it might feel. She came through victorious and did not run away - she went in and was so pleased to have tattoos and cake and pinatas. All for her. 

All because I have the greatest friends EVER.

Girlfriends. I so cant wait to see what they are dressing up as in 5 years! it's been so wonderful to have such goods friends to grow up with.

 

1st Grade: Day One

Family Dinner: Picking Acorns with Poppi

God made dirt...

Brad is filled in the garden today with this beautiful rich dirt. Kate decided to help.

   

   

Easter 2012

Easter started with a couple of church services and the inevitable "easter egg hunt" which is not accurately titled since there is no hunting involved. The mass quantities of eggs are literally rolled on to the field of dirt. Then the kids are held at bay like a raging army. At some point an adult in charge will signal the release and the kids will descend on the field like locust on a bountiful crop. It was intense to be in the field facing the invading minions. Imagine a like a scene from Brave-heart.

After the chaos of church and flurry of the egg hunt and brunch - saying hi to everyone, being introduced to a million new faces and trying not to loose track of your child - hoping she is not melting down from the over-stimulation. I always look forward to the utter calmness after the storm of these events. 

Off to the Gigi's house to egg hunt with the cousins.

   

 

I absolutely love this picture of Judah tell his dad something and the look on Justin's face. classic.

I also loved her haircut here. so sweet and sassy.

 

A day at Gigi's is never complete with out catching a creature. I can't remember if it was a horny toad or a little frog but Hunter was it's keeper for a short while. 

 

Field Trip 2012: Inner Space Caverns

**I am back-blogging. Written 3/2013 but actually happened 2/2012 **

Our favorite field trip this month was Inner Space Caverns. It was one of those trips that you rememeber vividly from your own childhood and get wrapped in nastagia as you re-live it with your kid. The film strip running in my head often converging the memories and the reality unfolding. 

I was very curious to see how Kate would handle the enclosed space and the coolness of the cave.... not to mention the darkness. She did amazingly well. Her eyes grew to be big as saucers due to the lack of light, making her look perpetually astonished. It turned out to be quite warm and humid in the cave which was a blessing. 

Kate quickly assertained that the guide was the one who knew the way and she stuck to him like glue. Pushing past adults and childeren to be right in front or behind him at all times. This drove me nuts since in small spaces I could not catch up or reach out and grab her if need be. On the other hand it was nice to see her so intrigued and focused. Thats how it is with Kate- all or nothing.  

She was also quite curious in a chatting way - having a million questions which the guide answered patiently and might have been encouraged by - because our 30 minute tour turned into almost an 1hour and a half. My poor friend who had her pre-k kiddo (who was not interested) and her tiny baby (who was not interested either) was stuck with us...in a humid cave. 

After the tour we hung around with some friends and panned for gets and stones. Kate really liked this part. So many of her favorite sensory things at once! Water, sifting, collecting rocks.... It was super fun and worth the few bucks for the bag of sand. 

Since this trip My friend Trina has organized a few more Homeschool days at the Inner Space Caverns with discounted addmission on a week day and discounted sifting prices. Call up Inner Space and see when the next date is!

  

 

 

leaves.

 

 

 

 

 

Birthday: Family Edition

The only thing  better than having a gaggle of friends to celebrate with ...is having all your family close by to celebrate with! Kate is completely spoiled by having uncles, aunt, cousins grandparents... all in town! 

...and willing to dress up.

  

 

 

 

 

Birthday: Friend Edition

I am writting this months after the birthday party and looking back I am overwhelmed with the friendships represented in these photos.

I am so thankful to have a church family and neighbors to share our lives with.

 

  

  

Birthday: SIX

 

 

 

 

Book Crush: Draw.Write.NOW

Today's crush is on a series of book that SHow how to DRAW an animal, then WRITE about that animal. It's awesomeness is blew my mind. Kate and I already have a journal page we do on a semi-daily basis. It's simple. Kate draws something and then she writes something.

I have to tell you that this is THE MOST FAVORITE-IST thing we do. seriously. 

I love disciphering each word and sentence. Since last Spring we have seen Kate's handwriting change and smooth out - often times I am able to hone in on a letter she is getting a bad habit about. Her words are phonetically spelled which means they are often wrong but she is getting her sounds and really putting to use. She suddenly started using periods one day and even commas. I was corrected when reading her journal page out loud one day because I did not pause long enough where she had placed a comma.

I love hearing what she is thinking about. It's all amazing.

This book series is a little challenging for Kate since the sentences are big and full - and she has to copy the text rather than forge ahead on her own - but I love it and I think that many kids through elementary would enjoy it.

Being the artsy type - I really enjoy the drawing portion. Kate has really grown in her confidence in drawing new things. She is pretty confident in most thing but she doesn't like to mess up her drawings or not have them come out the way she imagines them. I believe that just doing the step by step drawing she has (without talking about it or teaching it) gained a foundation for how objects can be drawn from shapes, how to connect the shapes and proportions.  

All of the books have a theme - this one was animals in different environments....river, pond, dry grassland, ocean. It is great supportive material for any study.

As if drawing, writing and facts were not enough....

The book even talks about how to create backgrounds and perspective.... See the right hand page - it's showing/teaching the 'Rule of Thirds'. The photographer in me just squealed. 

find, check out & enjoy.

Book Crush: America's Women

This book crush is for the adults. This THICK book is filled with stories, antidotes and facts about American history beginning with the first woman to step off a ship in the 1600's. The joys... the misconceptions... the horrors unspeakable - all in a fight to be apart of this nation. 

Multiple times I would slam this book shut and think 'humanity is stupid.' How often do we repeat the same flawed thoughts? 

Every time I am brought right back to remember that while we are extremely flawed we have a gracious and merciful God who has gone to the greatest lengths to make a way for us. A way to be redeemed, restored and forgiven. Before reading this book, my concept of this was so very broad. I got it, but not in the detailed and haunting way I do at this moment. We are truly lost in every way. Some of the things that seemed obvious and logical a hundred years ago are completely ridiculous. Yet, how many things do we regard as common knowledge that later will seem unthinkable.

This is just my reaction to the text - I need to make it clear that it is under no certain terms a christian written or slanted book. It reads more like a news article or history book. Maybe not as dry but it is not partial to christians or any faith or race. It speaks of the lives of indians, colonist, pioneers, slaves of all kinds, plantation wives, writers, doctors... anyone who had a voice or wrote a thought in their diary regarding the lives of women.

I am curious to how much to the text will stay with me and for how long. Right now it is so fresh in mind that it colors my thoughts. For instance.... 

Upon hearing a girl talk about giving birth and say "women have been doing this for 100s of years with just a midwife..." I am immediately flooded with thoughts about how childbirth has changed over time. If only this girl had the slightest clue what birth a hundred years ago looked like. Would she really be so flippant to think our current medical technology as inconvenient? What would she say about the way the medical community has gained it's experience - for it was not an easy or humane road.

This book has lifted the veil and made me think hard about life in those varies time periods. It's more than the thrill of making butter like a pioneer - it's the wonder that the pioneer woman survived at all. I learned pioneers heading West were often middle to upper class families because they had the money to actually purchase the wagon and supplies. These were fine ladies not poor waifs. Ladies who society expected to be genteel proper. Yet they braved a land where they would be pushed to the limits physically emotionally, often times end up in a home with dirt floors and no husband to speak of.

If you like to learn things. If you enjoy history. If you are a woman and feel at times that life is unfair. This book is, at it's very least, a really interesting read.

a texas girl meets the rain.

I ran across these pictures from our Florida trip in September - Kate is dancing in the pouring rain during our vacation. I remember watching her and feeling so torn. I was laughing at her joy and excitement for the rain - such a special thing for Texans who were still enduring a draught back home - but my heart could not be completely joyful. In those very same moments devastating fires were raging all over the hill country. It was so hard to enjoy the rain when our hearts were so heavy and our minds anxious for news. It was truly bittersweet.

Book Crush: Emily's Everyday Manners

Mind your Manners!  - I find myself wanting to say this lately but slightly frustrated because Kate seemly oblivious about what I am talking about. Sure she know what generally is polite and not. We have had to work through ALOT of social situation that she was not comfortable with from the very beginning and she has come INCREDIBLY far.         

    Still there are so many thing that I don't even realize I expect but we have never gone over - because we had just never run into that situation before....

      But there we are int he middle of a slightly awkward moment and Kate staring up at me like  "What?"

So when I saw this book and thumbed thru it - I got a little excited. It's  concise and has good explinations and funny little excerpts of what is not ok to do. 

     Most importantly it does not focus on being "good" or "perfect" but making people feel comfortable and at ease. It's just the right age for Kate and has situations she is running into like having friends over, being a flower girl or the dreaded family hug from that one person :)

It was a great jumping off point and we could read the page and then talk talk talk about things we might do in our lives. 

This one book turned into a five day little series of manners lessons. Only she didn't know they were lessons because we dressed up in the play clothes and role played.

Bottom line: I really like this book.

 

Artsy Fartsy

I taught Kate the phrase Artsy Fartsy. Definitely regretting that one. She is using quite often. Mostly to refer to me. 

This is a little portrait Kate did of me and her...adorable.

Below is my watercolor picture of my orange mixer. I love that appliance. Technically the color is persimmon which makes all the difference.